Friday, July 13, 2007

Trigger Happy

Malone the Mathemagician is asking for a solution to our problems with Iraq blowback.

For the war or agin' it, "solution" is too straight-ahead a word for what's to come, whether it's in combat; on foot across our all-but-open borders; 30,000 feet in the air beside guys out of Newark successfully screened for moisturizers instead of pistols; or in one of the billions of shipping crates that inconspicuously arrive annually on our busy shores.

Here then, is a "suggestion,” and from my lips to lawmakers' ears: Live free and lock and load—anytime, anywhere, and legally.

Assume the risk our soldiers do. Second Amendment absolutists had it right after Virginia Tech: Someone armed would have had a shot at saving lives. That's not a solution to mass murder, terrorist or otherwise—and nothing in a free country can be—but that is a chance, then and now, at your life. Who better to take it?

Safety is a bet, never a sure thing no matter what you're willing to pay. We're paying American soldiers by the thousands into Iraqi dust for the chance that what's left of the country will somehow simultaneously be, a terrorist killing floor AND, in the midst of a civil war, a free and prosperous nation. It's a dessert topping AND a floor wax.

But it ain't funny. And it ain't ever gonna work.

Here's what else won't work, at least for what we as a nation are now willing to pay:
  • tighter borders;
  • increased screening;
  • "intel";
  • diplomacy;
  • this president;
  • the next president;
  • President Jack Bauer;
  • bowing our heads in prayer;
  • or, again, putting our heads in the sand and letting our armed forces “do the job” fewer and fewer kids all the time are enlisting to do.

So do “the job” for them: Get strapped. Whether you "put up or shut up," it's going to be a bumpy ride.

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